The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But for many women, they can feel more like a marathon of giving—time, money, resources, and energy—until there’s nothing left for yourself.
There’s the work party, the kids’ class party, the neighborhood cookie exchange, the family gift swap, the charity drive, the Secret Santa exchange at your book club… And don’t forget baking the Pinterest-perfect treats, mailing holiday cards, and remembering who likes peppermint bark versus fudge.
And let’s not even talk about remembering everyone’s sizes for matching pajamas.
It’s no wonder the holiday cheer often feels like holiday burnout.
The Trap of Giving Too Much
As women, we’re often conditioned to be the givers—the ones who hold everything together with a smile. During the holidays, this expectation is amplified. Saying no can feel like you’re failing at the season’s unspoken rules.
But here’s the truth: when you give too much of yourself, you end up depleted. And instead of feeling connected and joyful, you feel stressed, overwhelmed, and resentful.
It’s time to rewrite the holiday narrative.
Say No to Say Yes - How to Get Through the Holidays
Here’s a radical idea: What if you didn’t do it all? What if you said no to the things that drain you so you could say yes to the things that truly light you up?
Say no to the fourth holiday party in a week so you can say yes to a cozy night watching your favorite holiday movie with your family.
Say no to baking three dozen cookies for a swap so you can say yes to an afternoon making your favorite treat with your kids.
Say no to hosting the big holiday dinner (again) so you can say yes to attending as a guest and actually enjoying yourself.
When you say no to the things that don’t spark joy, you create space for what matters most.
How to Start Saying No
Saying no isn’t always easy, especially when guilt creeps in. But here are a few tips to help you start:
Get Clear on What Matters Most:Before the season gets into full swing, take time to reflect on what makes the holidays special for you. What traditions do you cherish? Who do you most want to spend time with?
Set Boundaries Early:Once you know your priorities, communicate them. It’s much easier to say no when you’ve already decided what’s a yes.
Delegate, Delegate, Delegate:You don’t have to do everything yourself. Let your partner, kids, or other family members take on some of the load.
Practice Saying No Kindly:A polite but firm “I’m so honored you thought of me, but I can’t commit to that this year” goes a long way.
Remind Yourself That No is a Complete Sentence:You don’t have to justify or explain your no.
Embracing the Joy
By saying no, you give yourself the gift of time and energy to focus on what truly matters. When you’re not stretched thin, you’ll find it’s easier to embrace the joy and connection the holidays are meant to bring.
Because the best holiday memories aren’t made from the number of events you attend or the gifts you give—they’re made in the quiet, meaningful moments that fill your heart with joy.
So this holiday season, let your “no” make space for your “yes.”
What Will You Say Yes To?
Take a moment to think about what lights you up during the holidays. Is it a quiet night by the fire? Singing carols with your kids? Volunteering for a cause you love? Whatever it is, let that be your guide.
This year, give yourself the gift of a holiday that truly feels like yours.
Ready to Break the Cycle?
If you’re ready to stop the cycle of quick fixes and start living with intention, I’d love to invite you to join UNLEASHED Essentials—my membership program designed to help you dig deeper, overcome burnout, and unleash your full potential. It’s like having a roadmap to finally address the root causes of stress and frustration so you can thrive in every area of your life.
It’s my membership program designed to help you dig deeper, break the cycle of quick fixes, and create a life that feels aligned, empowered, and joyful. Think of it as your roadmap for moving past burnout and finally silencing those feelings of stress and self-doubt.
This is your chance to stop bandaid-fixing your challenges and start building a life that feels aligned, empowered, and joyful.
How to Join:
Visit UNLEASHED Essentials.
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Let’s make this the year we stop rushing through life and start embracing the exhilaration of moving with intention. The transformation you’ve been waiting for is just one shift in mindset away. Will you take that step?
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About the Author
Hi, I’m Phallyn—a corporate veteran turned entrepreneur, certified Feng Shui & hypnotherapy expert, and working mom with over a decade of experience navigating high-pressure environments. After experiencing burnout and anxiety firsthand, I transformed my life using holistic practices and a commitment to intentional living. Now, I’m passionate about helping women, especially working moms in male-dominated industries, overcome stress and create balanced, fulfilling lives. Through humor, honesty, and actionable insights, I aim to empower others to stop surviving and start thriving.
Let’s create a life that feels as good as it looks! 🥂
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